How to Handle Offenses

Before doing this study, please read the 1-minute introduction: How to Share Offenses & Apologize Biblically. 

This study will help us determine whether we are responding biblically to relationship problems.

1. When someone offends us, there are times these offenses should be overlooked.

Proverbs 19:11: A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense. 

It's good to ask yourself: Is the offense part of an ongoing problem or simply a one-time mistake? Does the person need some extra grace because they're going through a difficult time in their life? 

Ecclesiastes 7:9: Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

If we frequently and easily getting angry, the problem may be ours, not those who offend us.

James 1:18-20:  My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

We must make sure we have our facts straight before addressing relationship problems. This involves listening carefully and prayerfully.

2. What does forgiveness involve?
 
Ephesians 4:29-32: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

If we feel that it's appropriate to address a relationship problem, we should do so with words that are gracious and with the purpose of restoring the relationship, not ending it. 

Colossians 3:13: Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

Let's remember that we also are sinners.

Mark 11:25: And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

We must not allow ourselves to become bitter!

copyright 2017, Gail Burton Purath, BiteSizeBibleStudy.com, updated and edited in 2026